Dear Dr. Diane,
My grandchildren recently moved near us and, for the first time, our dog PomPom (a 5-year-old miniature poodle) is around young children (they are 2 and 4 years old). PomPom does not seem at all aggressive towards the children but they make her nervous. My daughter doesn’t want the children to come over to my house unless PomPom is crated but I would like the children to learn how to approach and greet a dog. Can you suggest an activity to introduce the children and PomPom?
I can understand and appreciate your daughter’s apprehension about such young children being around a dog, no matter how well-behaved both the children and the dog are. We read and hear so many tragic stories about children being hurt, maimed and even killed by so-called “aggressive” dogs.
Contrary to popular belief, “aggressive” dogs come in all breeds, shapes and sizes of dogs. They are not relegated to large dogs like Rottweilers, Pit Bulls or Dobermans. Frequently, children behave erratically and communicate through vocalizations such as laughing, crying, screaming, shouting as well as physical movements such as flailing their arms, clapping, stomping, dancing, running, jumping, etc.
PomPom is very intelligent and sensitive as well as telepathic. On some level, she is aware that children cannot be trusted and may inadvertently or unintentionally hit her, pull her tail or harm her in some way.
I think having her crated or placed in a doggie playpen while the children visit is a good idea. Let the children talk calmly and soothingly to PomPom.
When you are expecting a visit from your grandchildren, you may wish to meet and greet them outside your house with PomPom secured to a leash. Have your grandchildren keep their distance, talk to her lovingly, and then slowly approach them speaking calmly, quietly and soothingly.
When they enter the house, lead PomPom in first and then place her in a crate, play pen or fenced in area near the grandkids Have your grandkids and daughter follow you inside and then arrange for you to sit together near PomPom’s crate or playpen and remain near her so that she can hear them and see them and become accustomed to their presence.
All of you can include PomPom in your conversation and activity without direct physical contact with her so that she and the kids cannot be harmed. Do not let your grandkids ever poke, pinch or hit the dog while she’s in or out of the crate or pen.
After some time, you may wish to let PomPom outside of her crate on a leash for brief periods. Use this time to teach your grandkids to pet her gently and never lunge at her. Encourage them to talk to her quietly to make her feel comfortable and happy.
The greater amount of contact they have with one another and the more familiar they become with each other, the more secure they and your daughter will feel about their relationship. Utilize this opportunity to teach your grandchildren to respect, love and appreciate PomPom and other animals and to be gentle and kind while petting the dog. Your daughter and your grandchildren may also wish to visit a petting zoo together several times so that the children can become familiar with all kinds of animals and learn how to treat them with kindness.
Dr. Pomerance is an animal behavior specialist and an expert on topics such as deciding which puppy is best for your family, how to pick out a rescue, and on healing from the loss of a pet.
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